John's story: recovering from urinary incontinence after prostate cancer surgery

John was 65 when he was diagnosed with locally advanced prostate cancer in 2024. He had robot-assisted keyhole surgery to remove his prostate in January 2025. Here, he talks about his experience of urinary incontinence after surgery, the practical things that helped him, and how his continence gradually improved.

My diagnosis and treatment

I didn’t have any symptoms of prostate cancer. I’d been feeling generally run down over the winter, so my wife encouraged me to have a health check. One of the blood tests showed that my PSA was higher than it should have been.

I had another PSA blood test, a digital rectal examination (DRE), an MRI scan and then a biopsy, which found prostate cancer.

I decided to have surgery. My consultant explained the possible side effects, including urinary incontinence and erection problems, so I knew these were things I might have to deal with afterwards.

Before surgery, I tried to prepare myself as well as I could. I focused on keeping active and eating well.

What happened after my catheter was removed

I had a catheter for 10 days after surgery. It wasn’t particularly painful, but it was uncomfortable, so I was very relieved when it was removed.  

I knew incontinence could happen, but I hadn’t really appreciated what it would be like day to day or how much I might leak at first. The nurse gave me several different types of incontinence pads to try, but at first I didn’t know which ones would suit me best.

During the day, the urine leakage could be quite heavy and I was using around four or five pads a day at one stage. At night, things were much better and I hardly leaked at all.

There was a bit of trial and error at first. I had to work out which pads were comfortable, how absorbent they needed to be and what underwear worked best with them.

I’d always worn boxer shorts, but I quickly realised they didn’t hold some pads securely enough. I ended up buying closer fitting underwear, which worked much better.

Learning to manage the incontinence

I was told about pelvic floor muscle exercises before surgery and understood that they were important. The harder part was knowing whether I was actually doing them properly.

I found videos online which explained the technique more clearly, and I also used the Squeezy app. This was helpful because it reminded me when to do the exercises and helped me keep to a routine.

At around 12 weeks after surgery, I was still using several pads a day. I spoke to my consultant and increased the amount of pelvic floor exercises I was doing. That was around the time I started to notice a real improvement.

Getting back to everyday life

I didn’t want the incontinence to stop me doing things. I started walking again fairly early in my recovery, although I sometimes noticed more leakage when I was active.

After about three or four months, I started playing golf again. I was still wearing a pad because the golf swing could put that area under stress, but it didn’t bother me or stop me enjoying myself.

As things improved, I started to feel more confident too. By July 2025, I was down to one pad a day and eventually stopped needing them.

I did have one accident while I was on holiday. I’d eaten a meal, drunk quite a lot of water and then walked down to a lake. When I got there, I realised I’d leaked through my clothes. I ended up using my wife’s handbag to discreetly cover myself while I walked back to the hotel.

It was embarrassing at the time, but it was really the only time where I felt very self-conscious about it.

How things are now

I don’t wear a pad now. I sometimes have a little dribble when I’m playing golf and really stretch during a swing, but it doesn’t affect my everyday life.

I still do pelvic floor muscle exercises every day, although not as often as I did earlier in my recovery. Not needing to wear a pad anymore felt like a big milestone for me.

What I wish I’d known

I had excellent treatment and I’m very grateful for the care I received. But I do think there could be more practical information available about managing incontinence after surgery.

Things like choosing pads, finding the right underwear and knowing whether you’re doing pelvic floor exercises properly would have been good to know.

Written information is important, but I also think practical videos from a trusted source would be really useful. I found Prostate Cancer UK Online Community helpful. I could see what other men had experienced and ask practical questions about things like incontinence and pads.

My advice to other men would be to ask questions, look for reliable information and keep doing your pelvic floor exercises. Recovery can take time, and it may not always feel like you’re improving every day.

Looking back, I wouldn’t change my decision to have surgery. The incontinence was difficult at first, but gradually things improved and I got my confidence back.

Story added: October 2026