Nigel's Story

Recovering physically, mentally and emotionally from prostate cancer

Nigel, 66, was diagnosed with localised prostate cancer in March 2022. Later that year, he underwent surgery to remove his prostate. Here, he shares his experience of navigating prostate cancer and anxiety, including what’s helped him manage and reclaim control of his life.  

My diagnosis

My diagnosis came as quite a shock. At a yearly routine checkup my GP suggested a digital rectal examination (DRE) as I had mentioned waking quite frequently at night to use the bathroom. I explained that this was normal for me, I always had interrupted nights. I had been doing shift work for most of my life which has affected my sleep pattern. However, my GP suggested doing the examination just to be on the safe side.  The doctor felt something not quite right with my prostate during the DRE and recommended having an MRI scan. 

Immediately I started thinking the worst! My mind jumped to cancer. I hadn’t even been diagnosed yet, but the fear was there.  Waiting for the scan and then the prostate biopsy was the most stressful, my worry levels just shot up!

When the consultant told me “You’ve got cancer”, it was like a punch to my gut. I thought I had prepared myself, but nothing really prepares you for hearing those words. My thoughts went straight to my family, how will they take it?

Breaking the news to my loved ones

My wife has been with me through every step, she was incredibly supportive. Telling our daughters was the much harder part. Seeing the tears in their eyes when I told them was devastating. It was very overwhelming and watching their pain was far harder for me to emotionally deal with than my own diagnosis.

Being open and honest was crucial. I found that being open and honest helped us all face the reality of the situation together, even though it was difficult. I made sure I had all the information about my diagnosis so that I could answer any questions they had. I also think it’s important to share the positives, for example, my good prognosis, the supportive medical staff and advice from friends who had gone through similar experiences. My family could see how much this positivity reassured me, and I think it helped them too.

Choosing surgery

I chose surgery as much for my mental peace as my physical health. For me, I couldn’t bear the idea of the cancer still being inside me, I needed it gone. The fear of it spreading was too much to live with. But I know everyone’s circumstances are different. My advice would be do your research, make sure you fully understand your options when you make the decision, this really helped me feel less anxious. I would also say do what’s best for you both physically and mentally.

Managing my anxiety

After the initial recovery period following surgery, things seemed to begin to improve physically, but mentally, I hit a rough patch.

About a year and a half after my surgery, I began experiencing significant anxiety. It was as if everything finally caught up with me - my cancer diagnosis, my wife’s mental health and the sudden change of retiring earlier than I had planned. It all felt overwhelming, and I realised I hadn’t fully processed the emotional toll of the past few years. It felt like I had been holding everything together for so long that my mind finally said, “Enough.”

Getting the help I needed

Medication

After a couple of months of feeling really down and anxious I reached out to my GP, who increased my dose of medication for anxiety. After a few weeks, I began to feel some changes. I noticed my mood lifted and the heaviness I’d been carrying felt a bit lighter. I also found I was able to focus on everyday activities without feeling overwhelmed.    

Support groups 

My local prostate cancer support team (Prostate Active Care Together/ PACT), which offers support for people before, during, and after prostate cancer treatment got in touch with me. The service offered a range of professional support like counselling, nutritional guidance and exercise advice. Over the few months I spent with them, I found their guidance extremely helpful. Looking back, I can honestly say that their support played a crucial role in helping me manage my anxiety, move forward and regain a sense of control over my life.

Getting active

I was also referred to a physio by the support group who gave me exercises to help. I started doing indoor cycling and also went for walks on the local beaches with my wife. It’s allowed me to appreciate being alive in such a beautiful part of the UK. Nature has been a great healer for me, enhancing my journey towards recovery.

Creativity

As I started to focus on my recovery, I rediscovered my love for music. I began playing the piano and guitar more, finding great satisfaction in creating my own tunes. Although I can’t sing, the music became an outlet for my emotions and helped me to process my thoughts and feelings about everything I was going through. I also wrote a few poems that served as a way to express my feelings and clear my mind during this challenging time.

Slowly, I began to come out the other side. I started to feel more control and move forward with my life.

Living with a new perspective

Facing cancer, and seeing how it affected not just me, but my family, made me appreciate the small things much more. I no longer take anything for granted, and I’ve learned to live in the present, not worrying too much about the future.

Spending time with my family has become my top priority. We travel often to see our daughters, and those moments together feel more precious than ever.

After all I’ve been through, I realise how important it is to enjoy each day and the people you love. 

Speaking about prostate cancer and my mental health challenges has become a way for me to give back and it reminds me of how far I have come in my own journey. If my story helps even one person get the care they need in time, then it’s been worth sharing.

Getting support

Being diagnosed and living with prostate cancer impacts not only your physical health but also affects your thoughts and emotions. We've created a wellbeing hub to help support you, and those close to you, in looking after your emotional and mental health.  

Looking for support from other people going through a similar experience? 

You can speak to other people and share experiences our online community, through our one-to-one support service, or in a support group.