Here for you
01 Oct 2026Time and space to talk: how our Sexual Support service can help after prostate cancer treatment
Sexual wellbeing is often overlooked after prostate cancer treatment. Yet it can have a significant impact on your quality of life. Hear from our specialist nurse Deidre about the Sexual Support service and how it can help you with concerns around sex and intimacy.
For many men, prostate cancer treatment doesn’t end when hospital appointments slow down. Questions about sex, intimacy and relationships can arise months, or even years, after treatment. But these concerns aren’t always easy to talk about, and many men tell us they feel they're dealing with them on their own.
That's where our Sexual Support service can help. Our specialist nurse Deidre Vlotman explains how the service offers information, support and a safe confidential space to talk.
Why do these changes to sex and intimacy happen after treatment?
Sex and intimacy are about much more than getting an erection. The body, mind and our relationships all play a part, and prostate cancer treatment can affect each of these in different ways:
Surgery and radiotherapy can affect the nerves and blood vessels involved in getting erections, having orgasms and ejaculating.
Hormone therapy lowers testosterone levels, which can reduce sexual desire and affect our mood, energy and motivation.
Focal therapies may have less impact for some men, but sexual side effects can still occur.
Other treatments used for advanced prostate cancer can affect sex and intimacy in different ways, often through reduced energy levels, fatigue and other physical effects.
What are the most common reasons people contact the service?
Loss of interest in sex and intimacy
One of the biggest changes men talk to us about is a loss of interest in sex or a change in how they experience intimacy.
This is particularly common for men who are having hormone therapy. By lowering testosterone levels, hormone therapy can reduce sexual desire (libido) and affect arousal. Some men describe it as feeling like a switch has been turned off, while others notice more gradual changes over time.
Changes in desire can be frustrating and difficult to understand. Many men worry that something is wrong or feel guilty about the impact these changes may have on their relationship.
Partners contact us too. They may worry that a loss of desire means a loss of attraction or affection.
It's common for couples to experience misunderstandings or uncertainty as they adjust, particularly when both are trying to protect each other from worry or disappointment. Open and honest conversations can reduce anxiety and help you understand each other's needs and expectations.
If communication becomes difficult, support from someone outside your relationship can help too. Specialist sexual support services, psychosexual therapy or relationship counselling may be available, although access varies across the country. Charities such as Relate, Maggie's and Penny Brohn UK also provide information, resources and emotional support.
Changing the focus on sex and intimacy
Understandably, many men come to our service focused on erections – because that's often how sexual recovery is defined.
Of course, erections matter to many men, but sex involves much more than that. Some of the most positive conversations we have are with people who begin to think differently about what sex and intimacy mean to them.
Some couples find it helpful to shift the focus away from erections and performance, and instead explore touch, pleasure and physical closeness without the expectation of intercourse.
This approach, sometimes called sensate focus, can help reduce pressure and rebuild confidence and intimacy over time. Movember has good information about sensate focus and related exercises.
Masturbation, solo sex, sex toys and sexual aids can also help you reconnect with your body, explore changes in sensation and find new ways of experiencing pleasure and intimacy. Whether you're in a relationship or not, there’s no right or wrong way to adapt. What matters is finding what feels comfortable, enjoyable and meaningful to you.
I was anxious and embarrassed about speaking to someone else about such intimate issues. But the specialist nurse was on my ‘wavelength’ from the start and supported me in exploring my concerns and feelings in a non-judgmental and normalised way.
Space to reflect on deeply personal feelings
One of the things I've learned is that there's no typical person who contacts us. Some men get in touch soon after treatment because they're worried about the effects on their erections, orgasms or feelings of desire. Others contact us years after treatment, perhaps because they've met a new partner and are thinking about sex again for the first time in a long while.
What many have in common is a feeling that they weren't prepared for this part of recovery, or they feel they've been left to work things out on their own.
We also hear from men who struggle to come to terms with how their body has changed. Some talk about feeling less confident, less attractive, or even ‘less of a man’ because of changes to their desire, erections, penis size and testicles.
For others, the impact goes beyond sex and can affect their sense of identity, relationships and how they see themselves. These feelings can be deeply personal, and they're more common than we realise.
We also speak to men who are living with treatment regret, men whose relationships have been affected, and couples who are struggling to stay connected or adjust to a different reality than what they expected.
Partners often have worries and questions of their own and can sometimes feel unsure how best to support someone they care about. Some come looking for answers, while others simply want the opportunity to talk openly about something that can feel difficult, embarrassing or isolating.
Getting the support you need
Recovery isn’t always about getting back to the way things were before treatment. Sometimes it's about finding a ‘new normal’, understanding what works for you, and recognising that pleasure, intimacy and connection can take many different forms.
If any of the issues discussed in this article feel familiar to you, it may help to talk them through with us. Every day, we support men who are experiencing these challenges.
Our Sexual Support service is available to anyone who’s been diagnosed with prostate cancer, and their partners. We support people of all sexual orientations and relationship circumstances, whether you're in a relationship, single, dating, or simply trying to make sense of the changes you've experienced.
I’m a gay man nervous of intimate discussion with a female nurse, but this was transformative. The call has given me renewed confidence, the courage to ask my GP about medication for erectile dysfunction, and I feel a bit more in control of my situation.
We aren’t counsellors or therapists, but we provide a safe and confidential space to talk openly. We can listen, help you understand what may be happening, and discuss treatments for erectile problems and penile rehabilitation. We can also provide information about additional sources of support, including psychosexual services.
Every conversation is different and guided by what matters most to you. Many men tell us they've never had the opportunity to discuss sexual issues in detail, so we aim to provide the time and space to ask questions and explore the support and options that are available. Following our conversation, we can also provide information by email, with your consent, so you have something to refer to afterwards.
Sometimes the most helpful thing is simply knowing that what you're experiencing is common and that you're not facing it alone.
