Tools and talk: finding connection in Men’s Sheds

“You can get things off your chest in a way that you wouldn’t do anywhere else. I don’t really know why that is. But when you talk to all the guys they all think the same.”

This is Kevin. He’s been spending time at his local Men’s Shed in Reading for three years.

Men’s Sheds are community workshops built from empty offices, portable cabins, warehouses and garages. They transform the solitary garden shed into somewhere that men come together – to learn, practice and share skills, and enjoy making and mending side-by-side.

“There’s always plenty to get involved in,” says Kevin. “It’s a place where you can just be a bloke.”

A space for open conversations about prostate cancer

Lots of men tell us about how living with prostate cancer can make it harder to carry on doing things they used to enjoy and connect with other people.

Every man’s journey through prostate cancer is different. But if you’ve ever found yourself feeling cut off from your community, a Men’s Shed might just be the tool you need to build new connections.

“Problems with your prostate are relatively common, so we talk about that,” says Kevin, who was diagnosed with prostate cancer when he was just 44. He had surgery to remove his prostate and he’s now being monitored with PSA blood tests every six months.

“Going down to the shed and talking to other men with experience of prostate cancer has been a huge help,” he says. It also encourages others to talk more openly and understand their own risk.

Rolf, another regular at the shed, says the conversations he has there help make his health issues feel like a normal part of life.

“We talk about it and say, well, that’s okay,” he explains. “We all have something going on.”

For men, like Rolf, awareness leads to action. After reading a leaflet at his shed, he asked his GP for a PSA blood test. He was later diagnosed with prostate cancer and, like Kevin, went on to have surgery to remove his prostate.

Today he feels fortunate to have found the leaflet when he did. And now he makes sure to encourage other men to consider having a test as well.

Making and mending, side-by-side

Men's Sheds are built around three things: creation, community, and conversation. Kevin thinks the “making and mending” is “the gel that holds everything together”. His day always starts with a coffee, biscuits and a bit of chat. Then he'll move onto whatever he's working on.

Today, it’s a wooden chopping board. Before long, he’ll find he needs a hand, or someone will come over to ask him something. By the time lunch arrives and everyone stops to eat together, he’s realised that, as usual, he’s only spent maybe half his time at the workbench. It’s this chance to chat, as much as anything, that keeps Kevin coming back to the shed.

It was the tools that drew Rolf to the shed. When he retired, his daughter Ruth asked him for a dolls’ house. So, he built a tiny home workshop, which he describes as an eight-foot cube just big enough for making dolls’ house furniture.

As his hobby grew, so did his tool collection. And this led him to discover his local Men’s Shed, a former wartime munitions factory large enough to house the big, noisy machines he speaks of so fondly.

“We’ll have a good tea and then all split off to do our different jobs,” he explains. “Sometimes there’ll be two guys left having a cup of tea or holding an empty cup and chatting.”

Rolf emphasises the effortless understanding of what other men need: “We tend not to say mental health. We tend to say we’re just a bit down. And at the shed you can reply: ‘Come on, let’s go and saw some bits of wood up. Let's make some sawdust. Let’s make some noise for no reason. We’ll make expert firewood. Let’s go and play with the toys’. The shed is really good for that.”

‘Somewhere you can talk and feel comfortable’

Kevin describes the shed as a social space that feels like his own. He met most of his friends outside the shed through his wife. When he retired, he was happy to see other people, but didn’t want to make plans. When it dawned on him that he needed to find something to do, he went down to the local Men’s Shed and decided to sign up straight away.

“I found it great! The guys were funny and you could talk. I think men find it easier when we’re around other men. We can talk about things,” he explains.

“It’s somewhere you can talk and feel comfortable. It’s somewhere to come, just to have a chat.”

Kevin believes it’s common for men to lose some of their identity when they leave work. “Work was what they were,” he says. “Whatever that job was, that was them. And no matter how much you tell yourself, ‘I’ll keep in touch with all those people I knew’, you don’t.” Some men navigating prostate cancer feel a similar loss of identity. A prostate cancer diagnosis and treatment can change how they see themselves. Being able to talk openly somewhere like a Men’s Shed could help them process these feelings and start to rebuild their sense of self.

There’s a freedom too, in how the sheds are run by their members; each one is different. At his local shed, Rolf gets involved in community projects – making signs, benches and mud boxes for the village, and using the money to buy what they want for the shed. Which, he jokes, is usually another “great big noisy machine”.

The shed, Rolf says, is for when you’re sitting at home, wondering what to do. “Go and do something, make something, be with other guys in a work environment,” he says.

“It’s that camaraderie, it’s being together. We’re all helping each other out and there's no hierarchy – and no workplace health and safety regulations either!”

To any men thinking about joining a Men’s Shed, Kevin says: “Just come along once and have a chat. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to sign up. We’ll give you all the details. And you don’t have to have any knowledge in woodwork or even know how to use hand tools. Someone will show you how.”

Men’s Sheds

Men’s Sheds are community spaces for men to enjoy making and mending together. In most sheds you can you can find woodworking, metalworking, repairing and restoring, electronics, model buildings or even car building. You can find out more on the Men’s Shed website and find your local men’s shed here.

FIND YOUR LOCAL SHED