Finding comfort and moving forward: 10 tips to help you cope with fear and anxiety

From waiting for the results of your PSA blood test to feeling unsure about which treatment to choose or what the future looks like, living with prostate cancer can bring a lot of uncertainty.

We spoke to Doug, Derek, and Martin – three men who've been diagnosed with prostate cancer – and brought together their top tips to help you cope with feelings of fear and anxiety.

How fear and anxiety might feel

Anxiety can show up in lots of different ways. You might be worried about your treatment, the side effects, or how your prostate cancer is affecting the people you’re close to. It can also make it harder to stay on top of everyday things, like planning what to eat or getting the boiler fixed.

You might find you have a general sense of dread or unease that you can't seem to pin down. And sometimes this feels like fear or stress that you carry with you all the time.

You might even feel the effects in your body, too. For example, you might notice you’re feeling a bit shaky, or sweaty, or like your heart is beating faster or harder than normal.  

It’s completely normal to feel anxious and worried at times, and lots of men have these feelings. But sometimes they can become overwhelming.

Having an idea of how to cope can be helpful, but remember that different things work for different people at different times, so try things that feel right for you.

10 tips to help you handle your fears and anxiety

1. Get the facts

Lots of men feel worried when faced with decisions about their treatment and care. And if you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed, you might find it even harder to focus. This can make it more difficult to understand all the options in front of you.

If you’re not sure where to start you might find it helpful to:

Call our Specialist Nurses to talk things through on 0800 074 8383

Do some research using our online or printed health information

2. Plan ahead for your appointments

Remember you can ask your doctor to explain things clearly and repeat anything you don’t understand. You can also ask for a moment to think.

You might find it helpful to prepare a list of questions to ask too. Our printed booklets have a list of questions you might want to consider, and space to write notes at the back. 

It can also help to take someone with you to your appointments. This could be a friend, family member or partner. They might be able to take notes to help you remember what the doctor says, or to ask questions you might not think of at the time. This can really help if you feel overwhelmed by all the information. 

3. Tell someone how you’re feeling 

Having honest and open discussions about your fears can help you understand and process how you’re feeling. It can also help other people understand how they can support you.

Some men find it hard to open up about prostate cancer and worry about the impact on their loved ones. Macmillan has tips on talking about cancer and you can read Nick’s story to find out how he approached a difficult conversation with his son.

You might prefer to talk to someone you don’t know. Counsellors can help you talk about and understand your feelings. You can refer yourself for counselling on the NHS website, or you could see a private counsellor. 

4. Talk to someone who understands what you’re going through 

Lots of men feel alone with what they’re going through and worry that others won’t understand. But the reality is there are lots of people who want to help and support you. You might want to consider:

• Joining a support group. Support groups are spaces where you can ask questions and share worries with other people who are navigating prostate cancer. You can find a support group through Tackle Prostate Cancer.

• Chatting to someone who’s been there. Our One-to-One Peer Support service can put you in touch with someone who knows what you’re going through because they’ve been there themselves.

5. Try relaxation or grounding exercises

Some men find that practicing meditation helps them to understand their feelings, focus on what’s happening now and feel calmer.

There are lots of types of meditation, so you can try a few and see what works for you. The NHS has guided meditations for beginners.

6 . Spend time outdoors

Whether you’re gardening, reading or sitting in the park, connecting with nature can improve your mood. And staying active while you’re out there can also help to boost your physical and mental health.

The mental health charity Mind has some great tips on how to enjoy the outdoors.

7. Do things that matter to you

This might be meeting up with friends, making your favourite dinner or watching a TV show you enjoy. And you might want to try making future plans, too. You could plan a holiday or a trip to the theatre. Whether they’re big or small, having something to plan and look forward to can help you feel hopeful.

8. Try something new

Trying new activities can give you a sense of purpose and achievement. If you’re not sure what to try, you could ask your GP about social prescribing. Social prescribing link workers can help you access activities you’ll enjoy – like gardening groups, art groups, walking groups and more. Or, you could try volunteering.

9. Join your local Men’s Shed

Men’s Sheds are community workshops built from empty offices, portable cabins, warehouses and garages. They transform the solitary garden shed into somewhere that men come together – to learn, practice and share skills. Through making and mending side-by-side, the shed creates a space to talk openly with other men. You can hear from Rolf and Kevin, two Men’s Sheds regulars, about how the shed helped them deal with prostate cancer.

10. If it all feels like too much, get support

If you want to talk things through, our Specialist Nurses are here to help answer your questions. You can also visit our Wellbeing Hub for information about emotional wellbeing, anxiety, stress and living with or after prostate cancer.

If you feel you need more support, you can speak to your GP or contact Mind, Maggie’s, Samaritans or Penny Brohn UK. If you feel at risk of harming yourself or you need urgent help, call 999 or go to A&E.