Steve's Story

Steve was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2021 at the age of 51, and had surgery to remove his prostate. Here, he talks through his prostate cancer diagnosis and surgery experience.

My diagnosis experience

It was a bit of a strange one, my wife noticed my urinary symptoms. She overheard me urinating in the night and noticed that my urine flow seemed to be stop-start, and I was in the bathroom ages, which was unusual for me. She suggested I went to the GP, just to have it checked. Normally, as a man, you would typically brush it off. But I came across Prostate Cancer UK’s website and thought it would be best to call the doctors. The GP suggested I have a digital rectal examination (DRE) and a PSA blood test just to be on the safe side. There was nothing unusual from the DRE but my PSA level was 3.8, so he referred me to have an MRI.

Two weeks later, I met with the consultant at the urology department at the hospital to have an MRI. After the MRI, I was called to come in and have a prostate biopsy. I received the results of the MRI and biopsy at the same appointment. The date of that appointment is etched in my brain. I still went into that appointment thinking they’re going to say everything’s fine.

When the doctor said “I’m really sorry Steve, you’ve got prostate cancer’, our world fell apart and my wife burst in to tears. It was all a bit of a blur. I just remember walking down the corridor after and seeing some men on their own. My heart cried out to them, no man should ever have to do this alone.

My treatment decision

At first my treatment options included active surveillance, watchful waiting, surgery (radical prostatectomy), radiotherapy and hormone therapy. You’re kind of left to make a choice on those options and that’s scary. I did get to the point where I felt very bamboozled and very overwhelmed, so I called Prostate Cancer UK’s Specialist Nurses helpline.

At a later appointment, the consultant reviewed the MRI and biopsy and said had stage T3a. Therefore, my treatment options became more limited to just surgery or radiotherapy. The side effects of each treatment were a big thing that affected my decision. I read the side effects of the radiotherapy and surgery and decided that surgery was the best option for me.

Having Surgery

I had the robot-assisted keyhole surgery. The day after my surgery, I wasn’t in any real pain. I did find having the catheter in was uncomfortable. I had a few problems with the catheter while I was in hospital, learning how change the catheter, emptying and putting it back on again. But the nurses were incredibly helpful and answered any questions I had.

After my operation, it was a bit of a blur. For me, the support after my surgery was fantastic. After two weeks, I had my catheter removed. I also attended a continence clinic and had physiotherapy for pelvic floor exercises.

Living with side effects

I felt that as soon as I became dry and my incontinence stopped, everything such as the physio stopped and you’re on your own. I did get quite emotional about this.

Now I am six months post-op and I have just got an appointment at the erectile dysfunction (ED) clinic at the hospital. The ED clinic has been fantastic. I am now on tablets to help with my ED and will have check-ups for the next four months to see if the tablets help.

I’m not going to sugar-coat it, the side effects are not pleasant. My wife and I have found it tough and stressful, but we’ve adapted our marriage and we have found it’s brought us closer together and we’ve found a stronger bond without having sex.

Life after surgery

Now, I have a PSA test every three months. I will be under the urology department for the next three years and will have PSA tests frequently for the foreseeable future.

Talk to a professional, a GP, the Prostate Cancer UK specialist nurses – they got me through a few dark days. Reach out to your friends and family. It’s important to have these conversations about it. You are not alone!

Updated: July 2023