Managing your thoughts and feelings

If your prostate cancer is no longer responding to treatment and your doctor has explained that you are approaching the end of your life, it can bring up many different emotions.

You might feel anxious, sad, angry, or frustrated. You may also feel scared for yourself and for those you care about. You might feel more than one of these emotions at once, and your feelings might change day by day. There is no right or wrong way to feel.

You are not alone. Many men, and those close to them, experience these thoughts and feelings. It can be helpful to read about some of the thoughts and feelings you might have, and about what can help. Being aware and having a better understanding of your thoughts and emotions can help you feel more in control.

Talk to your medical team if you are struggling to cope. They are there to support you and get you the help you need.

Shock or feeling numb

It can be a shock to hear that your treatment is no longer working and you may be nearing the end of your life. Even if you’ve been living with prostate cancer for years, this news can feel sudden and hard to take in.

You may feel numb or detached, as if you aren’t feeling any emotion. It can feel like you are in a daze, and to those around you, you may appear quite calm. This can be your minds way of looking after itself as you slowly come to terms with things.  

It might be hard for you and your family to accept that you’re dying. You may find you think more about your life and try to find meaning in it. These can be difficult thoughts to deal with.

Your prostate cancer or treatment may also be causing physical problems. This might make you feel dependent on other people and that you’re not in control. It’s difficult to hear that your treatment isn’t working and you may be nearing the end of your life. Even if you’ve been living with prostate cancer for years, it can still be a shock.

Upset or alone

You can feel lonely during this time, like no one understands what you’re going through. You may feel low, lose interest in things you usually enjoy, or start thinking badly about yourself.  

 You can feel upset or unsettled if your care is passed on to a new team in the community. It can be hard to no longer be cared for by the hospital team you’re used to.

It can be especially difficult to deal with these feelings if you live on your own or don’t have family or friends nearby. But you are not alone, and there is support available to you.

Anger

It’s common to feel angry when you are approaching the end of your life, especially if the treatment has stopped working. You might feel that your cancer could have been found earlier, or regret decisions you made about treatment. These feelings can lead to anger, frustration, or regret.

Advanced prostate cancer and the side effects of treatment can cause physical problems that are difficult to manage. You might feel angry or frustrated about how your cancer and treatment has affected your life.

Some men find they feel more irritable than usual and get angry more easily. These feelings are normal but if they start to impact your everyday life, there is support available to help you manage them.

Worried and anxious

You may feel anxious when there are no more options to control your cancer. You might feel nervous or tense, find it difficult to concentrate and feel restless, or notice an increase in your heart rate and breathing. 

You may worry about being in pain, what to expect, or your family. These can all make you feel anxious. It might also affect your sleep and make it harder for you to cope with other feelings you may have. 

Feeling anxious during this time is normal, and many men feel this way. But there are things that can help. Read more about anxiety, including tips on dealing with anxiety and stress.

Sadness and depression

It’s normal to feel sad and low at times. Many men feel this way.

You might feel sad and hopeless about your future, losing your independence, or the time you have left with your loved ones. These feelings may come and go or feel stronger at certain times.

If you start to lose interest in things you used to enjoy or find it hard to talk to others, and have difficulty carrying out your normal daily life. This could be a sign of depression.

Let your doctor or nurse know how you’re feeling. There is support available to help you manage these feelings. You may find it helpful to read our information about emotional wellbeing, we also have information on depression including what support and help is available.

Wondering how long you have left to live

Some people want to know how long they have left to live. This can help you prepare and plan your time. There might be things you want to do before you die, or people you want to see. But some men don’t want to know how long they have left to live. Everyone is different.

You can ask your doctor how long you have left to live. They won’t be able to give you an exact answer. This is because everyone’s cancer and everyone’s body are different. But your doctor may be able to give you some idea based on where the cancer has spread to, how you are responding to treatment, how quickly the cancer has spread, and what problems it is causing. And they should be able to let you know when you are approaching your final weeks and days.

It can also be helpful to talk with your family about how long you have left to live. You may want to talk about the things you want to do and the people you want to see before you die.

Read more about how to know how long you have left to live.

What can help?

Give yourself time – it can take a while to process the news that you’re approaching the end of your life. You don’t have to go through this alone. We have a number of support services that can help you.

Talk to someone

You might worry about your family and friends and how they are feeling. Some men may feel they are letting their loved ones down and that they are a burden. You may also worry about how they’ll manage in your final weeks and days. And concerned about what will happen to them after you die.

It can be hard to have these conversations, talking to family and friends about how you’re feeling can help you feel more supported. Sharing your worries together can help you all cope better.

It can be difficult if you don’t think your doctor or nurse has considered the impact of what is happening on your family and friends. Tell your doctor or nurse if you’d like them to involve your family and friends in your care. Read more about support available for your family and friends.

You could also talk to someone who understands what you’re going through in a support group, on our online community or through our one-to-one peer support service. It can also help to talk to someone who’s trained to listen, like a counsellor or your GP or nurse.

You can speak to our Specialist Nurses about how you are feeling. If you need to speak to someone immediately, you could contact the Samaritans any time of day or night. The Samaritans are there for anyone who needs to talk – you don’t have to feel suicidal to get in touch.

Take time for yourself

It can help to think about what is happening and how you’re feeling about it. Some men want time by themselves, or time with a close friend or family member.

Spend time doing something you enjoy. Small moments of calm or routine can help you feel more in control of your emotions and feelings.

Set small goals

Setting small goals for the future can help you feel more positive and keep some independence. If you are well enough, you could plan and go on a holiday. Or you could set goals such as getting up and dressed each day or going for a walk.

Support managing side effects

Living with side effects can take a toll on how you feel. Finding ways to help manage them can help. You might be able to manage some side effects yourself. And your doctor or nurse may be able to help you as well. If you have questions about managing side effect or have any concerns, you can also speak to one of our Specialist Nurses.

 Read more about side effects and how to manage them.

Get the information you need

You may have questions for your doctor or nurse about your situation and what to expect. It can help to write your questions down before you meet with them. Some men find it helps to take a family member or friend with them. Your doctor or nurse can suggest things you can do to help yourself or put you in touch with people who can help.

It can be helpful to keep a diary – some people use a diary to express their feelings whilst others find it a good way to keep track of their symptoms.

Knowing what to expect

It can be difficult to know what to expect as you approach the end of your life. You might be worried about what will happen, especially if you’re hearing a lot of this information for the first time. You may worry about physical problems, such as being sleepy or in pain. And you might be concerned about the effect these problems could have on those around you.

You might find it helpful to find out about what to expect. It can help you prepare for what could happen.

It can also help to write down questions or thoughts you have. You could talk about them with your doctor or nurse, or someone close to you. And it can help to talk to a professional counsellor.

Some men find it helpful to talk to their doctor about things in their life they can have control over. This might include setting small realistic goals for the future and planning things to look forward to.

Read more about what to expect.

Plan your care

Some men worry about how they will be looked after towards the end of their life. It may be important to you that you’re not in pain, you’re surrounded by the people you love, and you have privacy and dignity.

Thinking and planning ahead can help you get support in the coming weeks or months. It can help you get control over how and where you will be cared for. It can also help make things easier for your family and friends when you’re nearing the end of your life.

Read more about planning your care.

References and reviewers

Updated: August 2025 | Due for Review: August 2028