My options were surgery (radical prostatectomy) or radiotherapy. My PSA had risen to 40 and I was still only 45 years old at this point. I decided that surgery was the best option for me. In June 2014 I went to the Royal Preston Hospital for my operation.

After surgery I was told that they were unable to remove all of the cancer. I was also told that the cancer was no longer contained in my prostate like they first thought. It had started to spread towards my bladder and bowel. Because of this, I was advised to have intensive radiotherapy for 32 weeks. On top of that I also had hormone therapy. This was disappointing news and there were times when I did wonder "why me?"

It was tough, but I found that it helped to have a positive attitude. No one chooses to have cancer, so if you have it you’ve just got to get on with it. I carried on working as it seemed to take my mind off things. Some people might say that’s impossible, but when you live with cancer every day it does help to have a break – for me, being at work helped.

I didn’t have a partner when I was first diagnosed – I attended most of my appointments with my mum and had support from other family members and friends. But I liked being on my own. Having space to process things and go through everything in my own mind was important to me. I knew support was there if I needed it.

I first met my husband online when I was having radiotherapy. I was nervous about meeting him face-to-face but I was honest about my treatment and the side effects I was experiencing, like erectile dysfunction. He was completely understanding and supportive from the start. Sex is different now and it can be disappointing when things don’t go to plan, especially when you’re in a new relationship. But there is more to life than sex and you don’t need to force it or put pressure on yourself. If you’ve got a loving and strong relationship, then that’s more important – that’s what life is about.

We’re now married and my husband attends medical appointments with me. Together we’ve had good experiences and he’s always been welcomed and involved in my care. He asks questions that I would never think of. This has been a huge help.

I also attend the Out With Prostate Cancer Support group in Manchester. The group has become part of my life. My husband now attends with me and has input in conversations. No topic is taboo in the group and discussions are directed at what we want to know. I now feel experienced enough to tell new members honestly about my story, what’s happened to me and how things have affected my body so that they can make better decisions themselves.

Read more about sex and relationship in our booklet Prostate cancer and your sex life.