Visiting my dad in the hospice

When dad was diagnosed, I was 19 years old and studying at university. It was a shock at first but we soon learnt that there are lots of different treatments, even for advanced prostate cancer. We were very close as a family and mum and dad would keep me and my sister updated on what was happening. When things got worse and the treatment wasn’t working, dad went into the hospice to be looked after.

I lived about 50 minutes away from the hospice. When dad first went into the hospice, I went to visit two or three times every weekend. We’d sit around chatting, listen to music, doing activities – just like at home, really. My mum took time off work and spent most of her time at the hospice.

In the last two weeks of dad’s life, my sister and I went to stay at my mum and dad’s house, which was near the hospice. We went into the hospice from 10am to 6pm each day. My nana, grandad and auntie were also there a lot. Everyone was very supportive. My mum stayed in the hospice. She slept in a recliner armchair next to my dad and they had a shower she could use. They didn’t have any restrictions on visiting times, so we could visit at any time.

It was dad’s 54^th birthday while he was in the hospice and we had a little party with close family – with party hats and everything! He loved seeing everyone and having people around.

• Ask questions. We found the staff at the hospice very helpful and we had regular meetings to update us about dad’s condition. We asked direct questions to understand how long my dad would survive, to help us to prepare as a family.
• Try not to be too scared. The horrific and distressing death I was scared of never came. It was incredibly sad but it was peaceful and dignified.
• It’s hard but it’s getting better. We miss dad every day. I took my dad’s advice and continued with my PhD full-time. I’m now almost finished and I know he would be really proud of me.