Contents
Coping emotionally
Living with advanced prostate cancer can be hard to deal with
emotionally as well as physically. Symptoms and treatments can be
draining and make you feel unwell. And some treatments, including
hormone therapy, can
make you feel more emotional and cause low moods.
You may feel a wide range of emotions. Your emotions could
change very quickly - you might have good days and bad days. All
these are very normal ways to feel. But if you are feeling very
down or worried, do speak to your GP or nurse - there are things
that can help.
There is no 'right way' to deal with your feelings. Give
yourself time. Don't put yourself under pressure to be positive if
that is not how you feel.
Some men want to find their own way to cope and don't want any
outside help. But there is support available if you need
it.
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Relationships
Having cancer can often bring you closer to your family or
friends. But the pressure of advanced cancer can also put a strain
on relationships.
The cancer and your treatment might mean that your partner or
family need to do more for you, such as running the home or caring
for you. These changing roles can be difficult for you
all.
Talking to those close to you can help everyone deal with
tensions. But sometimes talking is not that easy. If you'd like
help with problems in a relationship, your nurse or GP can put you
in touch with a counsellor and your local hospice may have a family
support team. You could also try contacting organisations such as
Relate or
the College of
Sexual and Relationship Therapists.
Download our booklet, Advanced prostate cancer: Managing symptoms and
getting support.
Are you supporting someone with prostate
cancer?
If someone close to you has advanced prostate cancer you might
be able to offer him a great deal of support, but it is likely that
you will need help and support as well.
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If you live alone
Dealing with advanced prostate cancer can be hard at times,
particularly if you live on your own. Don't be afraid to ask for
support if you need it.
If you are finding it hard, speak to your GP or nurse. If you
have friends or neighbours nearby, they may be able to help, both
practically and emotionally. Joining a local support
group can also be a good way of meeting people with
similar experiences.
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Daily life with advanced
prostate cancer
Advanced prostate cancer can affect your ability to work or
carry out everyday tasks. Whatever your situation, there is advice
and support available.
Diet and physical activity
A healthy
diet and being physically active might help you feel more
in control of your health. A healthy lifestyle can also help with
some of the side effects of treatment.
Work and money
The symptoms of advanced prostate cancer and the side effects of
treatments can make it more difficult for you to work. You might
decide to reduce your working hours, or stop working altogether. If
your partner is caring for you, they might not be able to work as
much. Read more about work and prostate cancer.
A lot of men with cancer and their partners worry about how they
will cope financially. It is a good idea to get some advice about
your individual circumstances. Read more about money issues.
At home
You might find everyday tasks more difficult. If you need extra
help, speak to your GP or get in touch with your local social
services department for advice. There is support available to help you
at home.
Respite care
If your cancer means that you need ongoing care from your
partner or family, respite care allows them to have a break. A
professional will take over your care for a short time. There are
different types of respite care:
- a sitting service, where someone stays with you for a few
hours
- a short stay in a residential home to give you a change of
scenery and help you rest
- a carer who comes in for a few days to allow your family member
to take a short break away.
Speak to your GP, nurse or local social services about what
respite care is available for you.
Download our booklet, Advanced prostate cancer: Managing symptoms and
getting support.
Transport and travel
There are various schemes available to help with transport.
If you drive you do not need to tell the Driver and Vehicle
Licensing Agency (DVLA) - or the Driver and Vehicle Agency (DVA) if
you live in Northern Ireland - that you have prostate cancer.
However, you should tell them if:
- your medication causes side effects likely to affect safe
driving
- your doctor is concerned about your fitness to drive
- you develop any problems with the brain or nervous system,
or
- you can only drive vehicles with special adaptations
or certain types of vehicle.
If you are not sure whether any of these apply to you, speak to
your doctor. You can find out more from GOV.UK. You should
also tell your insurance company about your prostate cancer to make
sure that you are properly covered.
Holidays can be a great way to relax. Having advanced prostate
cancer should not stop you going away, but there are things you might want to
consider.
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Thinking about the
future
It's natural to find it difficult and upsetting to think about
the future. But you might find that making plans helps you feel
more prepared, and reassured about the future for your family.
Although it might be very hard, it is a good idea to talk to
those close to you about your wishes so that they can help make
sure they are carried out.
You can find out more from Dying Matters. Macmillan Cancer
Support and Marie Curie Cancer Care also provide
information about what will happen in the last few weeks and days
of life.
Thinking about your future care
Think about what care you would like to receive in the future.
This is called advance care planning. It can include some of the
following:
- your wishes and preferences about the type of care you
want
- whether you would refuse treatment in specific
circumstances
- who you would like to be asked for a decision about your care,
if you are unable to make it yourself
- where you would like to be cared for - for example, at home, in
a hospice or hospital
- where you would like to die.
You don't have to make any decisions if you don't want to. But
it can help to think about these things early on as it helps your
doctor or nurse plan your care according to your wishes. You can
also talk to your family about what you want. If you change your
mind at any time then you can change your plans or cancel
them.
It might not always be possible for doctors to follow your
wishes, but they should always take them into
consideration.
Download our booklet, Advanced prostate cancer: Managing symptoms and
getting support.
Age UK, Marie Curie
Cancer Care and NHS
Choices have more detailed information about making
decisions about your future care.
Making a power of attorney
A lasting power of attorney is a legal document. It lets you
appoint someone to make decisions on your behalf if you are unable
to - for example, if you are unconscious. You can appoint one or
more people to make decisions about your care and welfare, and/or
your finances and property. In the legal paperwork, they are called
an attorney. They should be someone you trust, like a family member
or friend.
Age
UK provide advice and information on making a lasting
power of attorney. You can find more information and the forms you
need to fill in from the GOV.UK website.
Making a will
By making a will you can make sure that your property and
possessions are passed on according to your wishes. If you die
without making a will, the state decides who inherits your
property. You don't need a solicitor to make a will, but using one
will make sure that the correct legal processes are followed and
your will is valid.
Age
UK and Macmillan Cancer Support have more
information about making a will.
Making a funeral plan
Some people want to be involved in decisions about their own
funeral, such as whether they will be buried or cremated, or what
music and readings to have. Some people take comfort in making
these plans. But others prefer not to think about this.
If you do want to think about your funeral, you could discuss
your wishes with your family, or write them down for them. Some
people include instructions for their funeral in their will. You
can get more information about planning a funeral from Age UK and GOV.UK.
Download our booklet, Advanced prostate cancer: Managing symptoms and
getting support.
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